Bent pyramids and Jelly Legs

We thought we would get away from the Intercon and Heliopolis yesterday and so took the opportunity of "Friday Prayer Traffic Free Friday" (well not exactly traffic-free but a lot less than normal) and took Ali D - the driver and an Egyptian Egyptologist Mustapha (cue numerous Carry On jokes that for some reason Ti did not approve of, Mustapha Pee etc) down to the Memphis area 30km south of Cairo to have the first day of what is sure to be a pyramid-fest stay in Egypt.

We had our first view of what an extensive metropolis Cairo is, we crossed the fabulously named "City of the Dead" that is indeed an sprawling cemetry area but a working neighbourhood also. I'm keen to look for a place to stay there, it would be a great address to have, "I live in the City of the Dead". However do not think there are many expats are aound there, western ones at least! We also passed the Citadel, Mohummed Ali mosque all places on the must visit list.

After crossing the Nile we made our way down the flood plain of the river along a canal. Unfortunately like many other places in North Africa the 20th Century inventions of the plastic bag and bottle can be seen everywhere, littering the roads and waterway. Corn farms, chicken farms and pigeon farms (a delicacy, farmed in small towers see photo) lay alongside small shops by the relatively traffic-free road. Occasionally we shared the road with water buffalo, goats, sheep, geese, camels etc, the staples of Egyptian agricultual life. Trees are now heavy with dates and mango season is in full swing. We passed through the small village of Sakara and after a short restroom stop (remember Mustapha Pee) we came to our first stop, Zosers Funery Complex.

As you drive from the dense green date farms of the flood plain onto the escarpment you are struck by how quickly the desert starts. You can pretty much have one foot on fertile soil and one on desert, life and death, this was the thinking of the ancient Egyptians.

There are three main pyramids at Sakara, the famous Step Pyramid, the Userkaf and the TiTi pyramid.

The oldest Step pyramid is the best preserved and the latest TiTi is just a pile of rubble (they don’t build em like they used to).

We first visited a mastaba tomb, one of the surrounding tombs to the pyramid of the important dignitaries buried close to the pharaoh. The chap was call Ka-Gmni from 2650 BC. We saw some fantastic panels inside (sorry no photos allowed Sir), Mustapha taught us to read a few hieroglyphics. Apparently Ka-Gmni was a civil servant, a scribe to TiTi, he liked a bit of hunting and fishing, a bit of eating and drinking and collecting taxes -who doesn't. It was impressive and we has it all to ourselves.

Next we went to the Step pyramid, pretty much the oldest building in the world and the prototype for all the pyramids to come. Whilst we in Europe were grunting, collecting nuts and throwing rocks at each other a bright young Egyptian called Imhotep was calculating how to build pyramids with limestone and inventing stone cladding and pebble dash.

Now when you visit a tourist site in Egypt there inevitably are many hawkers and scammers around and the best option to to constantly repeat “La’a Shukran” – no thanks to any offers. We learn't something very important at the Step pyramid – do not let Tom and Tina out of your sight. Joe and myself went off to take a few photos and on return could not find said wife or son. I eventually found them both smiling like loons donning arab head dress supplied by a couple of the local chaps. I was going to drag them away but aforementioned hawkers already had the camera and insisted on them having a family photo. So there we have it. Tina and the boys in full-faux arab wear with some Egyptian herdman wearing my sacred Indiana Jones hat (and it looks better on him). Hope you like the photo, it cost me 5 Egyptian pounds.

and a better one at us that cost us nothing......

After the Step pyramid we headed south to Darshure to the next examples in the early evolution of the pyramid. There was the "Graham Norton" or "Darren" or better known as the Bent Pyramid which we saw from a distance. You can imagine half-way through building this the architech admiring his work and some clever bystander like my dad coming along and whistling through his teeth, shaking his head dismissively saying "I wouldn't do it like that mate, the angles all wrong, you need some 4 be 2s etc etc". I'd like to see the hieroglyphics of what the architech said when he realised the angle was too high (something like &***!!!*&!) and they duly finished it off at lower angle. Actually there are other theories that suggest it was not a mistake but we like this one.

The last pyramid of the day was the Red pyramid. The Red and the Bent are examples of the first real pyramid style rather than the stepped sides. There were no crowds here at all and only the tourist police with thier intercept Camel in case of any trouble. We climbed the 30m of so up the north side and entered the access tunnel.

We had to climbed down at quite a step angle ("walk like a duck" Mustapha said) to the central burial chambers at the centre of the structure. A unique experience and not for the clostraphobes, all but Joe had to stoop low and we descended like 4 of Snow Whites dwarfs except instead of Whistle While You Work you could constantly hear a bone on rock "Clunk" then "Ouch! XXXX!!!". After a long and muscle stiffening desent inside we came to two chambers where thank fully we could stand.

There was the strong smell of ammonia, either from 2000yrs of bat poo or from natural gas (we would have asked whether this was Pharaoh Jif or Cilitbang however Mustapha claimed guides were not allowed to climb to the entrance, down into the pyramid and back again – sounds like he did not fancy it….). After the steep climb up to the light at the end of the tunnel with many repeated Clunk "Ow! XXXX!!!" we all emerged thankfully into the sunlight.

The steep descent and ascent at such a strange angle used some of the lesser known and used leg muscles and we (except dwarf Joe) suffered from Jelly Legs getting down to the car (and have after effects). These were eased by a long afternoon in the hotel pool.

So our first pyramid view. Glad we did it with an Egyptologist -you mustapha egyptologist, it was worth the money. Also, glad we opted to do half day as the boys were getting pyramid blindness (once you’ve seen one you’ve seen them all) so we leave the famous Giza pyramids for another day………

This is our first go at a long post - let us know via the comments what you thing people....